Knowing someone’s love language is a key that unlocks the door to relationship
success. Being able to recognize what motivates someone we care about and pour into
them creates bonds that are unbreakable.
Though this is invaluable in our closest relationships, this skill set can transcend into our
secondary relationships and increase our success at work, in business, in the
community, and with our friends.
In every relationship the goal is to build trust, to feel safe, and appreciated.
Understanding the love language most important to your loved ones gives you a
blueprint for how to create that trust and safety. It removes the guesswork entirely.
Here are some practical expressions that fuel each love language-
● Words of Affirmation- Catch your spouse off guard and compliment him with
something very specific that you appreciate about him. Leave him post-it notes in
the shower saying you love his laugh or you love his handsome face.
● Quality Time- Find an activity that you know your wife loves and commit to
participating in it with her. Show up with enthusiasm and engage fully in the time
together. If she loves running, commit to a 5k and train and participate in the
● Receiving Gifts- Your coworker loves fresh flowers and has them around her
home throughout the year. Send her a floral subscription where she receives a
fresh bouquet from you each month for an entire year. She will be reminded of
your friendship and your thoughtful gesture each time a new bouquet arrives.
● Acts of Service- Your daughter is a determined athlete with a busy academic
and sports schedule. Though she is perfectly capable, you help her by organizing
her gear each night before she heads out for school and practice each day. You
set everything she needs by the front door along with a note saying “You’ve got
this! See you at the game today!” right where she can see it. She feels loved and
valued each time you do this small act of service.
● Physical Touch- Your best friend has received terrible medical news. She is
overwhelmed and scared. Knowing how much she values a good hug, you sit
with her, side-by-side, thighs touching, and holding hands while she processes
the information. Feeling the loving energy from touch helps her feel supported
through the process.
Knowing your loved one’s love language and being able to pour into them directly is
powerful for building long-lasting relationships that are solid and confident. These
simple acts of meeting needs in an ideal way aligned and individualized in their
approach is what the highest-functioning relationships have in common.