Long-lasting confidence, also called authentic confidence, rests on a foundation supported by four pillars: integrity, wisdom, success, and excellence. You must work to build each pillar if you want to have a high baseline level of confidence.
Integrity might seem like an odd thing to include on a list of things that contribute to authentic confidence. After all, some of the most confident people are the least honest and seemingly have few moral principles.
There’s another definition of integrity that matters here, however: that of being whole, undivided, or internally consistent. This means accepting yourself and all the parts of yourself instead of warring in your psyche over the parts of yourself you don’t like.
Wisdom comes from two sources: learning and experience. You need both to build a strong pillar, and this pillar will easily bear the weight of life’s challenges if you build it right.
Success doesn’t just refer to material success or success in your career. Success is succeeding at anything you set out to do, from the smallest challenge to the largest. Accomplishing anything you try to do, no matter how small, is a success that will help build this pillar.
You can fast-track this process by challenging yourself to overcome obstacles and reach the goals you set. They don’t have to be big goals; they just have to be goals, and you have to reach them. Your brain can’t tell much difference between small goals and large ones.
Excellence means to excel in the things you do regularly. This can refer to skills you use at work, in your hobbies, or in anything else that matters to you. Furthermore, it doesn’t just mean excelling per se, it means working to excel. The more you work towards improving your skills, the stronger this pillar will become.
If you want to have a solid foundation of confidence, one that can’t be shaken, you need to work on all four of these pillars. Luckily, they are all so intertwined that this is easy to do.
Excellence, success, and wisdom can all be improved by working on a single activity. Learn a new skill, work to excel at it, and see some success and you’ve simultaneously improved three of the pillars.
Integrity is harder and working to accept yourself is a lifelong process for many people. It’s worth all the difficulty, however. Don’t give up, be true to yourself, and you’ll get there!