I’m going to share a tough topic with you, but I know you’ll thank me later. The truth is,
some people feel disappointed A LOT, and it’s a problem. Their constant sense that
they are being let down by others is not tied to other people’s behavior like they think.
It’s tied to the fact that they are too sensitive and make things that aren’t about them…
about them. Ughhhhh
Highly sensitive people tend to feel disappointment often because they inject
themselves unnaturally into things. They take on more importance in things that they
aren’t really a part of and then feel disappointed when things get weird.
Here’s an example: Angie is a co-worker who has a casual relationship with Sally. Angie
sees their relationship as a friendship, while Sally feels the relationship is friendly but
not at the same level that Angie would prefer. Angie hasn’t picked up on the clues Sally
has given about boundaries and assumes that the relationship is mutually gratifying.
Sally hosts a girl’s night and doesn’t invite Angie, leaving Angie feeling disappointed
In this case, Angie has attached value to the friendship that isn’t shared by Sally. When
Sally doesn’t invite Angie to the girl’s night, Angie is wounded. Her sensitivity is causing
Many times, people attribute behavior in others to something that isn’t correct. They
assume things are about them, when they really aren’t. In this case, Sally has no
obligation to invite Angie to her girl’s night and is likely not meaning any intentional harm
towards Angie. Angie’s disappointment comes from her belief she was intentionally
slighted from a friend – who isn’t really a friend.
The key to identifying sensitivity is the frequency. If you find yourself feeling
disappointed and let down on a regular basis, ask yourself these questions:
Q: Am I assessing the situation correctly? Is this disappointment truly warranted, or is it
possible I am making something about me that really isn’t?
Q: Do I find myself feeling disappointed by this person or this situation often? Is it
possible I attach too much meaning to them or to the relationship? Is it possible that
they do not feel the same connection?
High sensitivity and disappointment are generally born out of a misdirected sense of
importance to a person or situation. That can feel very upsetting and confusing. Being
able to sort out the truth of the matter can help alleviate disappointment and help build
relationships that are on equal footing and have a proper perspective.