Asking for what you want can be intimidating. If you’re not used to advocating for what you want, it might feel unnatural and it might come with price tags like guilt and shame. That’s no way to live! Asking for what you want should be a natural state of being. It’s healthy to have desires, know your worth and value, and expect your voice to matter.
We are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. This means who we spend time with influences us as much as we influence them. Being someone who influences and encourages others to speak up and ask for what they want can make a huge impact on their confidence and courage to advocate for themselves. It’s so much easier to ask for what you want in confidence when it’s normal and encouraged.
Take the lead in helping others ask for what they want by creating a culture that includes opinions, ideas, and supports other people. You can do this by:
- Asking people in your sphere of influence about their opinions and desires
- Supporting people when they ask for what they want
- Helping others overcome their fear of asking for what they want
Ask “What do you think?” Asking someone outright what their opinions and desires are goes a long way to encourage them. When people feel free to ask for what they want, they are less likely to be meek or avoidant. Encourage others by making a point of asking them how they feel, what they prefer, what they think.
Support others in positive ways. You know how tough it can be to ask for support from others who may not agree or understand what you are asking for. Practice being supportive and it will create a culture of giving and expecting support that you can draw from in your own experience too.
Be a mentor. Did you know that FEAR is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real? Fear is not based in reality; it’s based in worries! Sometimes it’s easier to overcome fear when you aren’t personally involved. You can be an important part of supporting someone who may be fearful of asking for what they want. Help them break down their fears and barriers and be part of their cheerleading squad to encourage them when they might need a nudge. One of the best ways to feel confident asking for what you want is by encouraging others to do the same. Being supportive of others will make it commonplace to ask without fear, guilt, shame, or other barriers. Being a cheerleader will encourage people to feel confident and know that they have someone in their corner who is behind them all the way.